Well it’s been 28 days of raw food. I wish I could say it’s been 28 days of only raw food but I can’t. Which means I still haven’t accomplished my goal of a 30-day raw experiment. The good news, however, is that I’m really excited to keep on eating raw food and to really do the 30-day trial. I’m starting March 1st, 2012. I’ll try not to do too much damage in the day off between trials!
What I’ve noticed so far: I feel better and I sleep better. My skin looks better and I can run farther than before. I am a little more flexible and don’t walk like an old lady from bed to bathroom in the mornings. I haven’t lost my taste for sugar completely although I tend to really enjoy the veggies now. I lost a few pounds (around 4 over all because I put on a couple the last week when I got off track). I had planned on losing much more than that but if I’m honest with myself, it’s actually a miracle I didn’t gain any weight. I ate A LOT of food. I ate when I wasn’t hungry. I ate more than April made for me to eat. I ate extra raw and non raw foods that I wanted at the time. (Food cravings and/or emotion eating. ) I ate everything April brought because it was tasty or healthy and because I can’t waste food! The kids were not fighting over who got to drink the blue green algae juice so that left me.
I had a week or so where I had some detoxing symptoms and felt pretty crummy. I didn’t work out on those days. When I did feel fine I tended to ease up on my workouts as well because I was still in the cleansing phase and didn’t want to slow down my detox by working too hard. I can really come up with some great excuses for not working out, can’t I?
Now that I feel like I’m pretty much detoxed I would like to step up my workouts and see what I can do. No more wimping out- I mean backing off during detoxing-it’s time to go all out. I want to be able to run and not be weary. I want to hike like a mountain goat and to swim like a fish. I’ve been wondering about the whole aging athlete thing. I’m not an athlete at the moment (not even close) but I used to be. I’ve been walking and hiking and running to prepare for some races but I’m feeling the urge to return to the water.
I was a swimmer in college and I’ve been really curious lately. I wonder if it’s possible to compensate for an antique body. Can a really clean diet and hard work make up for the extra years? Is it even possible to have the same focus I had in college now that I have kids, dogs, house and husband to worry about? How close can I get to my college swimming times? I’m the same height and only 25 pounds heavier! If I lose the weight and eat better than I did in college, how fast can I swim? Will a raw vegan diet help or hinder performance? What about the internal engine? Can I get my resting heart rate, my cholesterol and my blood pressure back to college athlete levels? When do you get to the athletic point of no return? I’m going to find out. As of March 1st I’m officially in training. No more ice-cream! (Especially when I’ve had sooooo much ice cream that it starts growing out of the top of my head.)
Blog
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28-Day Summary
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Freedom
I’m nearly two weeks into this raw food experiment and I’m feeling pretty hopeful. This is the longest I’ve ever gone without eating a significant amount of sugar each and every day. I went to the grocery store this afternoon. I was in a bit of a hurry because Makai was at home with a big headache (too much brown sugar in his Grape Nuts) and we were out of ibuprofen. It wasn’t until I got back into my car that I realized that something was different.
Walking through the bakery section before was stressful. I would peruse the isles and force myself to look at the whole wheat bread for as long as I had stared, longingly, at all the goodies. The cupcake devil and the broccoli angel debated loudly and continuously in my head until I wanted to put them both in a time out. But I would keep on walking, pushing the cart, acting as though there was no internal struggle going on. Who me? Pondering the consequences of a donut as though it was the answer to world peace? Naaaaah. I’m just an average joe grocery shopper, thank you very much. In reality, I was a die hard sugar junkie pretending to be something else.It used to be that I would hear my name being called out by my old buddy Bismark. Then the french bread, cookies and cupcakes would chime right in with a veritable symphony of temptation. Even after leaving the bakery section I could still hear their little high-pitched voices following me around the store. “I’m fresh baked. Just one bite won’t hurt you. I’ll get you a sugar rush in no time flat. I’m cheaper than spinach. You can eat me in the car on the way home like usual. I have cream filling and chocolate on top, oozing down the sides.” The voices know I love most things ooey and goey. And they are relentless. The farther away I walk from said bakery section the more insistent they would get so that I can’t even concentrate on ready labels or comparing prices.So as I sat in the car today on the way home from the grocery store I realized that no one was talking to me that day. In fact, I don’t think I even went near the bakery section. Wow. I have no illusions of being cured. I do understand that just one or two days of partaking will land me right back where I started: running from the bakery section, drool on chin, hands cupped over my ears and begging the unseen voices to PLEASE stop beckoning me.But today, after eating mostly raw for two weeks, the voices have been silenced. And that, my friends, is what I call freedom. -
One Tough Mudder
I was facebook snooping last year and came across Monique, who was my friend and neighbor when I lived in California. She looked exactly the same as the last time I saw her 16 years ago- beautiful and happy. She has lots of fun pictures and lots of crazy adventure ones as well. Like the action shots of her participating in a Tough Mudder event. She said it was really fun! Ten to Twelve miles with 25 tough, military-style obstacles that involve heights, mud, tunnels, mud, freezing cold water, mud, electric and barbed wire, mud and hills. That does sound fun in a crazy, someone-dropped-you-on-your-head-when-you-were-a-baby type of fun. Thanks mom, for dropping me and SIGN ME UP!!! When I told Monique that I wanted to play, she mentioned that her team (The Good, The Bad, and The Muddy) was already signed up for the So Cal Tough Mudder on Feb 25 and that I could join them. I got sooooooooo excited. For about 10 seconds. Then I reminded myself: you’re not in shape, you’re packing a few extra pounds(“few” is a relative term) and you’ll still be doing the raw food cleanse on that date. So I will sit this one out and live vicariously through the facebook photos. This time around. One day I will do that race because I know, deep down inside, that under all my layers of jiggly, slothful, undisciplined apathy I AM A TOUGH MUDDER. I can do that race.
I remember doing the 50 K Hong Kong Green Power Hike years ago. Brandon has done races his entire life of all distances but at that point I was a confirmed sprinter. At BYU I was on the swim team and my best event lasted all of 23 seconds on a good day. I didn’t think I could finish the hike but wanted to try. Hubby kindly stayed with me that first race and even carried my water bottles. Before you think he is a supportive saint, let me clarify. He carried my water bottles so that after I got a drink he could “convince” me to pick up the pace and jog by running slightly ahead of me while I tried to replace the bottle in his back back. I’d get close and he would pick up the pace. This would go on for what seemed like eternity until I either caught up with him or cussed loudly and threw the bottle towards his head.
I did end up jogging a little, but mostly hiked and walked- trying prudently to make sure I had some energy for the end. On some of the steep climbs I could be heard muttering under my breath: “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…” The last couple miles were on a rocky mountain trail in the dark. Brandon led with our only flashlight and I had to keep up if I wanted to see anything. It was another one of Hubby’s sneaky ways of getting me to move faster, but it worked. I ended up running like a crazy woman after the light, pumped up high as kite on adrenaline. I knew at any given moment I could break my ankle or take a fall that would keep on going. I guess that’s what they mean when people say they feel alive when taking risks.
We finished in 10 hours and I was amazed and euphoric while crossing the finish line. About 15 minutes later I was puking and feeling as though I had just given birth to a gorilla. I hobbled for about a week afterwards, crippled and seriously doubting my mental stability. But like most child birth experiences, I soon forgot the pain and planned to do it again.
Two years later I did. But this time I knew I could finish. I had actually given birth to a new me. This time I knew I could, I knew I could, I knew I could! I told Brandon he didn’t have to wait for me, that I wanted to see what I was capable of doing without a coach, a pacer and water pack mule at my side. I wanted him to do his own race and I still hadn’t forgotten about his sneaky water bottle and flashlight tricks.
There was lots of tedium and discomfort and pain involved in the race. Sometimes it was crowded and I was annoyed at having to wait for slow pokes on the trail or got passed why someone who was just plain insensitive to my ego. Other times it was crowded and I relished the camaraderie of strangers/unknown friends doing something hard, together. We were laughing, encouraging and advising one another along the way. Sometimes I enjoyed moments of blissful solitude where I felt my heart would burst with happiness for no apparent reason. Sometimes I trudged along a steep part and wondered what the heck I had been thinking to sign up for this AGAIN. Other time I felt like an graceful animal, lightly bounding through the jungle over rocks and logs, hill and dale, without tiring, having tapped into some source of primal energy. I was alive with the realization that I was doing something I couldn’t actually do. I learned to fly down the hills by just letting go, leaning forward and then praying my body would keep up with my feet.
I didn’t set any records that day and it didn’t really matter if I finished in the top of my class. (I didn’t) When I crossed the finish line 8 hours later (I think it was actually 7 hours and 59 minutes which feels a lot better than 8 hours) I was exhausted but happy and I felt great knowing I had pushed myself beyond my limits. Hubby wasn’t at the finish line because he hadn’t expected me for at least another hour. But I found him shortly afterwards. And like the race before, 15 minutes later I was down on a blanket in the grass and only moving when I had to throw up. One kind medic abandoned his first aid station to take my vitals because of how great I looked. He advised our friends to take me to the hospital if I didn’t feel better soon. I didn’t go-mostly because the thought of one extra stop between me and my bed was unthinkable at that point- but I appreciated his concern.
Years later I had the realization that this race was a metaphor for my life. (I know I’m a little slow, be patient with me.) I had always known that my Heavenly Father helped me out quite a bit during that race. I had put my heart into it but my body had surprised me. I knew that I had done things I wasn’t in shape to do and that He had carried me throughout some of the harder stages when quitting would have been so easy. I was grateful afterwards but thought it was a little strange that He had been so helpful during a silly little, recreational activity that I had participated in mainly for bragging rights. I was grateful, but knew that my performance in the race really meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. So why the help?
Then one day it hit me. The race is your life. There is lots of tedium, discomfort and pain involved. Sometimes you will be slowed down, hurt, or annoyed by those around you. Sometimes we will be a supportive comfort to each other in this journey. Sometimes when kids/spouse/jobs/unemployment feels like an endless steep climb you just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will eventually reach the summit. Sometimes strangers at an aid station offering a banana look like angels and sometimes you need to wear the halo for someone around you.
And often, quite often it feels like, you will need to do something you don’t feel capable of doing. You will surprise yourself what you can do. There is help. It usually comes in unnoticeable but crucial ways. It doesn’t usually come in the form of a helicopter that will lift you off the mountain and give you a free ride to the summit. Trust me, the view is better if you climb the mountain first. So don’t be afraid to ask for help. Don’t be afraid to offer help. We’re all in this together.
I am ONE TOUGH MUDDER. And so are you.
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I Feel Good…
Whoa-oa-oa! I feel good, nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah nah!
I knew that I would, now nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah nah,
I feeeeeel good, nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah nah,
I knew that I would, now…….
4/1/11
The past ten days have been great. I’ve eaten all raw and I love it. I feel great and I lost another 5 pounds. My skin looks good and I’m bounding up Mount Butler like a mountain goat! But before you send me a note telling me how awesome I am, let me say one thing… April’s Fool!! I had a challenging weekend and thought I’d over come it (see day nine) but I ended up falling off the wagon. I’ve spent the last ten days running down the street, chasing after it. I think I’m on again. Horray! Starting over at 149 pounds on 4/1/11 I’ll let you know how this upcoming week goes. This note WILL be a self fulfilling prophecy. (The first part, not the part about falling off the wagon.)
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How to Take a Great “Before” Picture
Taking a weight loss/body building “before picture” is really an exercise in optimism. No one would ever sign up for this exercise in humility unless they truly believed an “after picture” would soon follow. I am either really lacking in the self discipline department or I am a true optimist. I’ll go with answer B. I’m such an optimist that I have an entire collection of before pictures. In fact, if I ever approach Zoe carrying my camera and wearing a bathrobe (to hide the bathing suit until the last possible moment) she groans and gives words of encouragement along the lines of: “Not again!” and “I thought you said you would never take another before picture!” She’s right, I have said that to her. Many times. But I can usually talk her into “just one more”. If you are wondering why I don’t use an existing fat photo, I can explain. I have to keep starting over on my diet challenges and want to get a picture with an accurate date on it. This way people will actually believe I can make such drastic changes in such a short amount of time. That pesky optimist is on the loose again.
The first time you take a photo, have a seat before you look at it. I found that almost everyone has the ability to deceive themselves to some degree (I’m not fat I’m just cuddly/husky/big boned/muscular/etc) and reality hits hard. (The first time is the worst.) After studying your photo, dry your tears and remind yourself of how great you will feel with the after picture that is surely, just around the corner.Wear clothes that show your excess. For women this would mean a sports bra and shorts or a good old fashion bikini. Don’t even consider a mu mu or a burqa. I once heard a suggestion that you carry a copy of your before picture to remind yourself to behave. I would not recommend this. It’s best to leave the picture in the safe deposit box or buried in the back yard next to Fido and Spot. If you carry one in your wallet you will always have to worry about what stranger will see this photo should you get into a car accident.There are a few things that will get you a better before picture. Look a little depressed, slouch and relax those stomach muscles that are accustomed to being sucked in. Drink about a gallon of water, pull your hair back in an unflattering style and leave the makeup off. A big white belly is always a plus. The white part is important. The big part is essential. If you think about it, the worse you look, the better your before picture. This is really not a good area for over achievers. I wouldn’t recommend spending say, a month, preparing for the before picture. Just be grateful for your current girth and start there.
Tuesday 3-22-11 Day 9The weekend proved to be a challenge. Although there was some unauthorized foods, I still ate more than half raw and didn’t binge. I won’t go into any more details other than Monday morning I weighed 149, up one pound from Saturday. I woke up this morning weighing 148 and have started the day right. A great hike with the ladies and a fruit shake afterwards. I plan on eating raw all day and I actually feel pretty good. I noticed that I can do a hard workout and my blood sugar is not going all over the place. I got home and didn’t feel like I needed to eat right away. I also have more energy all day long. If I keep eating raw I’ll be able to race up the 599 stairs to the top of Mount Butler just like Kim does!
BTW- I did take a brand new photo at the start of this 30-day raw food challenge. I’ll post it right next to the after picture… -
To Go or Not to Go…
Day Three: 3/16/11That is the question. I’m still on very shaky ground here with the raw-vegan detox diet while living in the real world plan. Tonight is the Relief Society birthday dinner complete with lavender-frosted cupcakes. At one time I thought I’d take the noble high ground and skip the dinner. (Flee from situations that will detract me from my goal). But I love Relief Society dinners. A nice dinner I didn’t have to prepare plus conversation with people I actually like plus no dishes afterwards equals DONE DEAL-I’m there! Wow, that sounds really selfish when I write it down. (I do bring specified side dishes when asked and I’m always willing to help with the dishes if necessary. If absolutely necessary. Paper plates exist for a reason ya know).Then I remembered a conversation I had with Carrie Gammons about my fears on driving in Hong Kong. We were in her car, zipping around the Hong Kong traffic at the time, when she bestowed upon me her wisdom. “I just think of it as a challenge.” Challenge as in a good, game-like, sign-me-up FUN word, not a euphemism for “this really sucks.”Wow. What would our lives be like if we looked at every situation as a fun challenge. Don’t we all spend time and money seeking out challenges like running a 5K, racking up points in an electronic game or sneaking a cupcake without the scale noticing? Evidently mass numbers enjoy the challenge of building things in Farmtown or becoming an olympic athlete in Wii Sports. There are lots of challenges I really enjoy. What would my life be like if I welcomed EVERY challenge life gave me instead of only the ones I sign up for?I will attend the dinner. I will most likely eat a salad before I go. I will enjoy myself, I will take this bull by the horns and meet this challenge with grace and a rumbling stomach. Hopefully the drooling will be kept to a minimum. And I may just bring a cupcake home for the kids without eating it on the way.Let the games begin.I woke up weighing 149 pounds. Hooray! It’s nice to be back in the 140s. This is what I ate today:9:00 half a scoop of raw protein powder with coconut almond milk and a banana10:30 more of the same shake12:30 a big taco salad with spicy walnuts, avocado, greens, carrots, nut cheese and fresh salsa (see picture below). I threw in some fresh sliced okra thinking I’d try a new veggie today. It was a little slimy and gross so I ended up picking them out.2:00 raw granola made from sprouted buckwheat and almonds and lots of other grains and seeds with 1/2 cup of plain greek yogurt. (Not raw yogurt but it hit the spot.)7:00 two plates of salad. I passed on the pasta but it looked really good.
No hiking today. I got in the pool and swam for 45 minutes but took it easy. Detoxing can be a little taxing.BTW, I had a great time at the Relief Society dinner. I brought cupcakes home safely, with no BLTs! (BLT is Linda Snow’s inventive term for Bites, Licks and Tastes. Hi Linda! I miss you.)Overall, a game well played. -
Sugar Junkie Goes Raw for 30 days
3/11/11 AM
I’m afraid to drive in Hong Kong. And I haven’t got a thing to wear. What do these two things have in common? Sugar, sugar sugar. Too much of it in my diet, to be specific. My sister will laugh at this since she has once accused me to blaming everything on sugar, including global warming and the price of tea in China. And I have to admit that she may be right. Since I have been unable to divorce sugar from my life for longer that say, 7 and a half hours, it’s a handy scapegoat. I’m convinced that if I could just stop eating sugar my life will be much better. My body will be better and I will feel more in control. My health, my personality, my teeth, my skin, my outlook on life and my driving will be better. My cholesterol will go down and my popularity will go up. I will be smarter, funnier and better looking. My children will also be more respectful and obedient. My husband will be nicer. That all sounds like an incredible payoff. Sign me up!!!!
Well, let me tell you, I’ve signed up 1,856 times in the past 30 years and it never lasts. I always go back. If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result then I am positively certifiable. But not in a peaceful, happy, basket-weaving at Green Hills Funny Farm kind of way. Which by the way sounds like a very appealing lifestyle to me. Or what about minimum security incarceration? Some days I’d rather be anywhere that nobody is making demands on me. I wouldn’t have to figure out what to wear (happy orange jumpsuits) or what happened to someone’s all-important thing that went missing or even what to do with my hair. Bad hair days are probably a moot point in prison. But I’m rambling now, probably a side effect of too much sugar in my diet.
Back to Hong Kong and clothes. You see my brain is in a fog most days and I do a lot of stupid things. In Hong Kong you have to drive on the wrong side of the road (as opposed to the right side) and the streets are often narrow, winding video-game like structures that have massive two-story buses careening down the road coming straight at you (very video game-like but the problem is I only have ONE life at the moment.) I was a fearless driver in Manila where sidewalks are normal driving routes. Where one was not required to actually choose a lane to drive in, opting instead to keep one’s options open and drive down the middle of two. But here in Hong Kong where there is very little room for error, I’m scared I’ll have a mental space out moment at the wrong time. After my first test drive to Big Wave Bay the kids were pretty happy and relieved to have arrived in one piece. The car smelled of fear for days after wards.
Then there’s the “I don’t have a thing to wear” stuff. I can’t say this out loud near my husband because he will very sensibly point out that my closet has enough clothing in it to outfit a high-school marching band including the baton twirler who wouldn’t be caught dead in anything from my closet. What I actually mean is that I don’t have a thing to wear that will create the optical illusion of me being 30 pounds lighter. Oh I know there are things out there like miracle clothes and spanx and wonder swim suits but what do they really promise you? Ten pounds at the most. That’s not going to cut it, people. I’m tired of going out in public in my non-magical clothes and feeling like someone who is more than a little out of control in her life. The truth does indeed hurt. I will blame it on the body but it’s more likely the knowledge of my weakness that keeps me from being the sparkling, happy go lucky, witty, take charge, got-it-all-together woman I know I can be. She’s in there somewhere but she’s been silenced by sugar.
I’m tired of being a middle-aged, tired looking and feeling, not-too-overweight but over-weight-none-the-less invisible person. I’m tired of having only crappy clothes because I’m too stubborn to break down and buy some nice “fat clothes.” I’m tired of feeling like the frumpy, sloppy, pony-tailed, and tennis-shoe shod American in a sea of slender, sophisticated, well-dressed, impeccably groomed, Asian and European women. (Not to mention the polished Americans.)
So, in response to Hong Kong driving and inadequate closets, It’s time for a trial separation. No more sugar. I’m going to eat only raw food for 30 days. (More on the why’s of raw food later.) I’m going to do it publicly in hopes that the support and threat of public humiliation will keep me in check.
I’m starting right now. Unless there is something really good at the Women’s conference I’m attending today. Then I’ll start tomorrow. Tomorrow is a good day to start because it’s my sister’s birthday. I’ll be able to remember my new life anniversary easier that way. Of course that was the reasoning behind starting my sugar free life on other auspicious days like 7-8-9 or 9-9-9 or 10-10-10 or 1-11-11 or nearly every Monday morning unless I was on vacation and definitely every Jan first for the past 30 years.
But there’s no time like the present. I’ll let you know what happened…
3/11/11 PM
What an increadible conference. I am inspired and uplifted. Thank you everyone who was there, both as fellow attendees and as speakers.
The home made chocolate chip cookies did me in. But the deal wasn’t actually set in stone at that point so I’m still good. Those of you who know me well will recognize my way of thinking right now. Excuses, excuses, excuses. I am indeed Queen of Rationalization. Of course since I decided to start tomorrow (my favorite starting date ever) I spend the evening stocking up on fresh fruit and veggies (for tomorrow) and chocolate (for right now) I’ve got a bit of the “last supper” mentality going on but I will try not to get too carried away.
3/12/11 Day 1 153 pounds wake up weight
Success!!! Which is so exciting since I usually mess up on day 1s. One down, 29 to go. I even succeeded in knocking out a two-hour hike. But I’m a little tired now and really looking forward to sleeping tonight.
Here’s what I ate today:
For breakfast I made a shake with coconut, banana, raw protien powder (Sun Warrior is my favorite) and one date for a little sweetness. It held me over just fine until my 11am apple. I had a big salad with mangos at lunch then a snack of banana and walnuts later on. For dinner I had another big veggie salad with taco-flavored walnuts, salsa and lots of veggies. Surprisingly enough I felt no hunger today, even with a long hike. I’m feeling hopeful that this may actually be the time I do what I set out to do.
Sunday 3/13/11 151 pounds (down 2)
After yesterday’s high it is with surprising regret that I announce today’s crash and burn.
Did just fine for my 7:30 breakfast which consisted of a banana, nut milk protein shake. I didn’t get home from church until nearly 1:00 at which time I was starving and consumed an enormous amount of cheese and crackers. I then proceeded to serve up a pasta dish with cream sauce and to dig on in with the best of them. To give myself a little credit, I also ate my super healthy salad (the kind the kids won’t eat because it’s too weird) and I passed on the brownies and ice-cream. Did you hear me? I PASSED on the brownies and ice-cream. What alien has taken over my body? Who IS this person ‘cause it sure doesn’t sound like me. I handled the brownies all afternoon it seems-dishing up, serving, putting them away, etc with nerves of steel. In the spirit of total honesty I did inhale a few of the brownie bits that stuck to the knife but we all know those don’t count. The calories disappear from them just like anything that is licked off a spoon, eaten over the sink or trimmed off the edge of a cake.
I decided that I needed to start over in the morning with the 30-day raw diet. I will not flog myself for my mistakes. I’m still a good person, I’m still a good person, I’m still a good person… Beating oneself up over dieting disasters, we all know, is a sure trigger to consume at least another 1,000 calories of junk filled with self loathing and frosted with guilt. I’m not going down that road anymore. If I have any future diet disasters I’m at least going to enjoy them! So I ate some more pasta for dinner (last supper mentality) and called Lily to tell her I would be hiking in the morning after all.
Monday 3/14/11 151 pounds (no change)
No weight loss after yesterday’s pasta party. Now that is a miracle. I’m feeling pretty good about starting over. Even when I was swimming competitively one false start was okay. (I actually did that quite often which caused my parents considerable spectator anxiety.)
What I ate today:
8:30 Strawberries, almond milk and raw protein powder shake
10:00 salad greens with cucumber, orange, and an orange/walnut dressing
1:00 salad with cucumbers, tomato, corn and a handful of Zoe’s french fries 🙁
2:00 Mango with coconut pulp and water from one young Thai coconut
2:30 Apple and pear and any other sweet fruit I could eat to keep me away from my main supplier, Jason. (Jason’s Market carries Lindt chocolates, Haagen Daz and Nutella. And it’s right next door to our apartment!)
6:00 Salad with taco-flavored walnuts, avocado, home-made fresh salsa, cilantro and sprouts. And a handful of non-raw cheese. Perhaps perfection tomorrow but pretty darn close today. I’ll take it.
Tuesday, 3/15/11 150 pounds (down 1)
Yesterday I ate a lot of food, especially sweet fruit and high fat foods like coconut, avocado and nuts. I find I’m eating even when I’m not hungry in an attempt to make the longing for other foods go away. I’m still trying to reach my optimum diet but this transition stage is difficult. Hiked again this morning from 6 am to 7:45. I felt a little tired and was slower than normal today. Maybe I’ve started to detox and maybe I didn’t get enough sleep last night!
Here’s what I ate today:
8:30 chia seed pudding with coconut, mango and banana
10 minutes after finishing this I ate another bowl just like it. I’ll blame it on the hike.
10:00 a handful of goji berries thrown in my glass of water
12:30 a lovely salad with avocado, taco-flavored walnuts, fresh salsa and a veggie/flax seed cracker.
2:00 a hazelnut chocolate bar (no comment) Please see Sunday’s comment about not beating myself up. No need to anyway.
6:00 squash “pasta” with marinara sauce and pine nut parmesan cheese
7:30 An orange
I promised I would explain some of my rational behind this raw diet. Some call it insanity (you know who you are) and others thinks it’s a weird cult/fad. My problem is that I just plain know too much. I’ve been to the amazing raw-food detox center called The Optimum Health Institute in San Diego, California four times in the past eight years. I’ve seen some pretty amazing results. I’ve taken all the classes and learned much.
If anyone needs to schedule an oil change, minor maintenance or repair work or a major overhaul on their body, this is the place to go. Check out their website for more information: optimumhealth.org
I go for the minimum stay of 1 week. Usually just for a tune-up but sometimes I needed extra help with allergies, asthma or old injuries that just refused to finish healing. I wish I could stay forever. But more than that, I wish I would never need to go back again. Not because I will never need to detox. Stuff happens. Stuff gets eaten. But oh how wonderful it would be to feel the detox power again. And how incredible it would be if I could actually do this on my own. I hate, hate, hate the fact that the only time I ever go more than a day without sugar and simple carbs is when I am practically locked up and all temptation has been removed. The weakest of the weak. At OHI I have no one to worry about and I don’t even need to prepare my own meals. Someone else has planned what I should eat for maximum healing and then someone else has lovingly prepared it for me. It’s not real life, people.
At OHI I am usually sobbing by the second day, deliriously ranting such things as,
“Why am I here again?! I paid good money for this???? (as opposed to bad money), I should be on a beach somewhere! I snuck out of my life for a whole week to suffer like this???? Wheat grass juice and colonics are the epitome of cruel and unusual punishment! What was I thinking?!”
Needless to say, during the beginning of the week I think and speak with many, many exclamation points. (Some things better left unprinted.) I feel a little sick, a little grouchy, a little tired and a lot miserable. Especially at night when my tummy says to my brain, (imagine an annoying, whiney, high-pitched voice.)
“I can’t go to sleep like this. I’m usually full and bloated and packed with so much food that bed sounds like a wonderful place to lay the body down. I feel light and a little hungry and I don’t like this feeling! I just want some mashed potatoes with extra butter on top. And dessert. I want dessert. Is that too much to ask for?”
I’m never really hungry at OHI even though it’s a low calorie diet at 800-1,100 calories per day, except for “juicing” days (torture) where I would guess you consume less than 100 calories of green juice three times a day. The food is so nutrient-dense that your body gets what it needs. Food cravings are another story all together, but you can usually tell them apart from real hunger. And they actually go away after only a few days of clean eating. When you are consuming mostly raw veggies, sprouts, sesame seed cheese and sauerkraut there is a lot of food on your plate with not a lot of calories. The weight pretty much falls off.
Then somewhere around the end of the week a new me emerges from the tears and bad breath. I am smarter, happier, at least 8 pounds lighter and more optimistic that a kid on Christmas morning. Fatigue, foggy brain, and flatulence are things of the past. Morning breath no longer exists. My skin looks better, my eyes are shinier and I feel like I can conquer the world.
Unfortunately I have come to the conclusion that I would be much better off if I continued the program for more than a week. (As they strongly recommend at OHI.) It’s just not enough time for my addictive personality who remembers the lure of sugar all too well after only a week apart. This trial separation needs to be at least 21 days (to break a habit) and preferably 30. So in a nut shell, I would just like to gain a little self control, lose a little weight and get my superpowers back.
